Promises for the Brokenhearted
From my journal dated November 10, 2014:
"Today is my 7th wedding anniversary and I will weep. I will weep for the love I have, the love I had and the love that will never be. I will weep for my daughter who will never know the love that her parents shared on this day 7 years ago. I will weep because she will never know the hope and love we shared in bringing her in this world. I will weep because I didn't choose this I didn't want this and yet this is my life. I will weep because against my best intentions and some great efforts my marriage didn't work. I will weep because I want to and it's my right to."
In my opinion there are two things that hurt like hell (can I say that?), a paper cut and a broken heart. If you've ever experienced either you know there's nothing that can heal them but time. I've shared in previous posts that my marriage had crumbled. What I had not shared was my struggle with the grieving process. I knew that I had to "live in my grief" and the "new normal" that was my life and for the most part I thought I was dealing with the grief well. I'd been praying, journaling, fasting and all that but I did not really give myself permission to fall apart. I was afraid that if I fell apart then I would not be able to put myself back together. I had to be strong for everyone around me to be ok with what I was dealing with. I had to make sure that my daughters saw me as strong and fierce. Then like an epiphany the Lord reminded me of this promise:
Standing in the check out line in Walmart God reminded me that God had my back! God was close to me and if I fell apart God would pick me up and renew me. Moreover, only God and time could heal me and could be the strength for the people around me. Leaning on my own strength was not my job, leaning on God's was. More importantly, I learned that delaying grief would only delay my healing. I wish I could say that I am completely healed today and that there was no residue of grief but that is just not the case. However, today, my heart is healing, I am ok with the space I'm in, and I can boldly say "I ain't mad at NOBODY about NOTHING!"
My broken heart was the result of a broken marriage. Your broken heart may be the loss of a loved one, the death of a dream, a bad diagnosis/prognosis, or just a rough patch in life. Whatever it is, know today that God is close to you. God will rescue you from the pit of brokenness and restore you. God is the mender of the broken heart.
I'd like to leave you with a bit of worship music and encouraging pray. Jonathan Nelson's "I Am" has blessed me tremendously. I pray that it does that and more for you. Today, I pray that you would allow God to permeate the places of brokenness in you. I pray that those tender places would be made well and that God would restore you to a better you.