Let Me Off!
Four years ago today, I was anxiously waiting to add the pitter patter of #MacAttack feet to my daily life. Three years ago today, I was still learning how to walk again after a horrific car accident. Two years ago today, I spent my first Christmas "unhitched".
Seems change has been the constant theme of my life. As soon as I feel like I get my feet planted something else sweeps me off my feet. I have called these past four years "The Rollercoaster Years".
I hate rollercoasters.
I hate them because I'm afraid of heights. But I also hate them because they twist, turn, shift, and dip at their will. I have no say on how many loopdaloops or twisty turns I'm subjected to once I strap in.
My life, these past four years, has been a hellacious rollercoaster ride. It felt like I had gotten tricked and all of a sudden I was strapped into a never-ending rollercoaster. It was as if Ashton Kutcher, from Punk'd, had unleashed a masterful prank on me and I was at his mercy.
Up until last year, I have just been bracing myself waiting on it to end. After every twist, I was waiting on the ride to come to a halt and let me off! I didn't understand it! I just did not get it! Why am I going through this? Why is life dealing me such a bitter hand? What did I do so wrong? I have not been a perfect person by far but, I have always tried to show up for people, love people, be good to people and faithful to God! I did not understand why life was falling apart all around me. I did not understand why my relationships were constantly shifting. I did not understand how I'd gotten strapped into this whirlwind of a roller coaster ride. Honestly, I didn't even care why I JUST WANTED OFF!
WOULD SOMEBODY JUST LET ME OFF?!
Last year, I got revelation from God (and a Facebook quiz) that the rollercoaster was not ending and so I decided to embrace it.
This year, I have realized that not only will the rollercoaster not ever completely end but that it is all a part of life. We don't always have control over the hand life deals us. We can't control the way relationships shift, jobs end, emergencies happen, or tragedy takes place. Life happens to all of us. We can't always control how life happens but we can control how we response to what happens in life. When we decide to embrace life we make a decision to live. Instead of waiting on it to end we decide that we will take each day head on and face it. Undoubtedly, sometimes we win and sometimes we don't quite get the victory we want but, we continue to try. We embrace each struggle as a chance to build strength and each loss as a lesson for the next opportunity. In essence, we decide to thrive instead of just survive.
No, I am not sure when my life will level out. Maybe next year, maybe in 5 years. But what I do know is that I get the chance every day to grow and glow. I promise to not take those opportunities for granted. I believe that one day, this struggle will make something beautiful.