The Journey to Letting Go

Everyone loved the Beyonce song Irreplaceable. I must admit, I did too but not for the reasons everyone else did. I loved it because I secretly admired the ballsy way Beyonce confronted letting go. She was like, "NEXT!"

Man, I wish letting go were that easy all the time. Whether it's the death of a loved one, a failed relationship, a dream that has crashed and burned or sending your kids into the land of independence, letting go can be down right difficult and feel impossible. While most of us would love to say we  sang Irreplaceable as our letting go anthem of strength, our hearts were really singing, "It's So Hard to Say Goodbye to Yesterday".

When things die you let them go. However there's work involved in that letting go. There's time involved. Finding the strength to let go is not easy nor instantaneous. Sometimes we have to journey with what has died from the hospital to the coroner's office to the funeral home and finally to the cemetery. But the longest, most difficult part of the journey is the waiting room awaiting confirmation of the death. The waiting room can be a lonely, cold, sterile place where you are left to face the "new normal" of your life. I can't tell you how many literal and figurative "waiting rooms" I've sat in facing the loneliness of a new life as a result of a shift I didn't want nor ask for. From those moments I've gleaned a few things that have helped me that I'd like to share.

Get the support you need. - We all need help. We were not created to journey through life alone. I am the first to say that not everyone deserves to have a front row to your vulnerability but someone does. Discern whom you can truly trust and let them rally around you.

Be honest. - Woah! Being honest with yourself can be scary let alone others. Do it anyway. Help can't help unless you let it.

Be kind to you. - The journey to letting go is rocky and sporadic and tumultuous. Don't be hard on yourself on days that the journey takes the wind out of you. Be kind to yourself. Let you off the hook. Give yourself grace to try again tomorrow.

I learned a long time ago that in life two things are certain, trouble and change. I'll save trouble for another blog post, but let's shift our perspective of change. Changing means we're growing. Jill Scott puts it like this, "...sometimes you gotta work and you gotta grow and it gotta hurt." Take what you've learned and let it teach you about who you are, what you deserve, and how you want to move forward. Then go be great Chile.

I love you all. I'm in it with you.